Loneliness versus Aloneness

“Loneliness is a negative state of mind. Aloneness is positive, notwithstanding what the dictionaries say. In dictionaries, loneliness and aloneness are synonyms – in life they are not. Loneliness is a state of mind where you are constantly missing the other. Aloneness is a state of mind where you are constantly delighted in yourself. Loneliness is miserable. Aloneness is blissful. Loneliness is always worried, missing something, hankering for something, desiring something. Aloneness is a deep fulfillment, not going out, tremendously content, happy, celebrating. In loneliness you are off center. In aloneness you are centered and rooted.

Aloneness is beautiful. it has an elegance about it, a grace, a climate of tremendous satisfaction. Loneliness is beggarly, all around it there is begging and nothing else. It has no grace about it, in fact it is ugly. Loneliness is a dependence , aloneness is sheer independence. One feels as if one is one’s whole world, one;s whole existence. 

Now, if you move into a relationship when you are feeling lonely, then you will exploit the other. The other will become a means to satisfy you. You will use the other, and everybody resents being used because nobody is here to become a means for anybody else. Every human being is an end unto himself or herself. Nobody is here to be used like a thing, everybody is here to be worshiped like a king. Nobody is here to fulfill anybody else’s expectations, everybody is here just to be himself, to be herself. When you move according to your loneliness you will fall into a relationship with somebody who is in the same plight, because nobody who is really living for his or her aloneness will be attracted to you.
You will be too far above them. They can at most sympathize, but cannot love you. One who is at the peak of aloneness can only be attracted toward someone who is also alone. So whenever you act according to your loneliness you will find a person of the same type; you will find your own reflection somewhere. 

First become alone. First start enjoying yourself, first love yourself. First become so authentically happy that if nobody comes it doesn’t matter. You are full, overflowing. If nobody knocks at your door it is perfectly ok – you are not missing anything. You are not waiting for somebody to come knock at the door. You are home – if somebody comes, good, beautiful. If nobody comes, that too is beautiful and good. Now you move like a master, not a beggar. Now you move like an emperor, not a beggar. “